Thursday, April 05, 2007

Brit Sailors Held Hostage - OK lets Recap

Since the Hostages were taken from Iraqi waters under the pretext they were in Iranian waters:

1. British servicemen and woman had their uniforms taken away and made to read ridiculous statements about their alleged “guilt” of straying into Iranian waters.

2. Furthermore, the female sailor was forced to wear a head cover in keeping with Iranian law and the local mullah’s interpretation of the faith.

3. The female hostage reads on camera a ‘heart-wrenching’ statement to her young offspring.

4. Britain started working furiously to get the EU off their collective fat a** and make Iran feel the pain for their piracy. (also making polite statements about the unhelpful situation)

5. Iran said it would release the female hostage.

6. Iran ‘changed their mind’ and decided to keep the woman as hostage, saying to Britain: “We’re unhelpful? Well, we don’t like your attitude”

7. Britain keeps working furiously to get the EU off their collective fat a** and make Iran feel the pain for their piracy.

8. The Mad Mullahs and the twerp (Ahmadinejad) tried to whip up a frenzy in the populace, that didn’t seem to work all that well.

9. Somewhere in this process it comes out the Persians want some of their boys back and this is all revealed as a tit-for-tat play. (Wonder how much they REALLY asked for?) Problem all around for the good guys: the US can’t care about this MORE than the Brits, but the Brits can’t do the tit-for-tat without US help (the US has the ‘tat’ in hand while Iraq has the UK’s…)

10. The US stands by our friend’s decision, but it looks like it will be on the basis that the UK demands a better deal. I write ‘looks like’ because there is nothing to indicate the UK wasn’t also quietly telling the Mullah’s about Newt’s idea:

Look Chaps, if it were just up to us, we would be more cooperative, but my stout Friend here thinks we should just cut off your oil and gas flows and watch you squirm a while, so you shall be reasonable fellows won’t you?

11. The EU informs the UK that under no condition will they get off their fat a**, but they will send a very nice letter of regret.

12. President George Bush is roundly tut-tut’ed about using the word (gasp!) ‘Hostages’.

13. Iran sees this scheme isn’t playing well on the home front either and says “deal, but we get to parade the hostages around one more time”.

14. The Hostage’s loved-ones back home are ecstatic about the announced upcoming release. Apparently not knowing the President was tut-tut’ed, one is quoted as saying:

"They should never have been taken hostage in the first place. They shouldn't have been using them for propaganda".

15. In what is probably proof-positive Iran didn’t like how this was playing out at home and abroad, they actually send the Hostages home and declare victory.

16. Everyone wants credit. Syria is claiming a role in the release.

17. Oh no! Syria was fitting that fabulous Dhimmi Dahling’ Nancy Pelosi for a burqa at the time. How long before she claims credit as well?

Anyway, enough of the politics! I'm sure there will br much more hand-wringing and recriminations to go around for a while.

Welcome home to my Brothers-and-Sister-in-Arms!

I can hardly wait to hear things from your various perspectives in the future.....

Update 04/06/07
Well I wish now I had seen the Brit's press conference after they got back in the UK before I posted last night. If I had, I would have looked for the full videos of them in captivity instead of relying on quick clips, still pics and written reports on what they looked like and how they conducted themselves. Since the press conference's reading of a prepared written statement looked a lot like CYA to me I got a real uneasy feeling, so I thought 'let's go to the videotape' . Ugh - it made me physically ill.

Of course, no one can say exactly what they would or wouldn't have done unless they were there, but I can't imagine any of the Brits I worked with in the 80's or now EVER smiling for a captor's camera UNLESS it was supported by an obscene gesture.

My personal lesson-learned in all this is: Don't rely on excised video clips and stills with transcripts when there are full recordings out there.

The feeling I have now for these guys (including their command structure), is basically the same feeling I had once on jury duty. I want to scream -- "c'mon guys, give me something positive in your defense!"

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